


i try to keep the thought in mind but it slips through my hands like grains of sand

by WafflesFalafle



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Memories, Other, Poems, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24392632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WafflesFalafle/pseuds/WafflesFalafle
Summary: a taz balance poem about waking up in the morning and staring at the ceiling, running out of breath before you even open your mouth to speak, and grieving over strangers after looking directly at the sun and finding it didn’t hurt as much as you thought it would.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	i try to keep the thought in mind but it slips through my hands like grains of sand

my stomach is filled up with water  
there’s no air in the stuff that i breathe  
it’s all fine  
this is how it’s supposed to be  
-  
i don’t think  
you mean anything to me  
but i still cry each time  
you fall asleep  
and yet it’s so easy to dream  
when i know you’re there waiting for me  
-  
all i ever see  
is the same scene  
of you and i  
we’re on stage set in the sky  
and we’re dancing in the sunrise  
-  
and then it’s over  
-  
i never get to hear your last words  
what do you say with your fading breath  
is there something you’re trying to tell me  
what are your last thoughts in death?  
-  
(Here’s what it looks like:)  
(Your beloved holds you in their arms,  
Or, wait, do you hold them in yours?)  
(Whatever, whatever, we’ll get to it.)  
(You embrace each other,  
The both of you are desperate,  
Crying,  
Holding on,  
To that last shred of hope you have left.  
You tug, on the sleeves of their shirt  
But you pull too fast, too hard.  
Suddenly,  
Their limbs turn to shimmering threads of yarn,  
And with that final pull from you,  
They unravel in your arms.)  
-  
the world heats up  
and my thoughts burn  
nothing’s ever enough  
and i never learn  
to get used to this  
let myself give in and grey  
though this is how it’s supposed to be  
-  
i know that i should  
just expect the ache  
but the tears still come  
each time i wake  
even though i know it’s a mistake  
to try and take  
a love i don’t think i ever had  
-  
surrounded by the light of dawn  
we sway to the music  
we dance in the illusion  
and i can’t help but carry on  
though i know this world is gone  
-  
(A home,  
A hearth,  
A frame that holds a thousand memories,  
The rib cage that surrounds your heart,  
Your flesh without the armor.)  
(That’s where you are.)  
(Here’s what happens:)  
(The one you hold most dear,  
Is a figure of glistening strings.  
You try to hold them together,  
But you aren’t strong enough.)  
-  
i never get to hear your last words  
we’re always gone too soon  
i hope you don’t miss me  
the way i miss you  
what a fate too terrible to bear  
-  
(Here’s some of the things you remember:)  
(The color of the thread that holds them together,  
The way they shivered like they were in pain,  
The way they tried to cup your face,  
Like you were the one suffering.)  
-  
i live in moments  
i love in spades  
i am an omen  
i am stolen i dismay  
and every day i pray  
for you to stay  
or go away  
or at least tell me what you meant to say  
-  
(Here’s what happens:)  
(You try to hold yourself together,)  
-  
(Here’s what’s happening:)  
(Your mind is made of yarn,  
And you are unraveling,  
Falling apart at the seams.)  
(You close your eyes and dream of a dance that lasts a thousand years and still ends too soon.  
You pull your beloved closer for comfort,  
Or maybe they notice something’s wrong,  
and they pull you?  
But, you’re in each other’s arms,  
And they lean in close,  
And they smile,  
And they tell you not to feel so bad about this.)  
(“Just enjoy the moment while it lasts.”)

**Author's Note:**

> taz balance got me feeling stuff but i couldn’t think of a good fic idea so i wrote out my emotions in poem form lol. anyways ya’ll can probs guess what it’s abt. i was thinking of specific characters while i wrote this but i tried to leave it vague enough that it could be any of the birds
> 
> i actually had a tune in mind while i was writing this, it sounds like a cross between a one direction song and the song from portal
> 
> i tried to keep the poem open ended? like, it wouldn’t be me if i wrote something angsty and sad all the way through, so i tried to go for a bittersweet sort of hopeful ending. whether it’s leans more towards the bitter or the sweeter side is up to the reader i suppose. at least we know it all ends for the better canonically :)
> 
> hope you liked reading <3


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